I was apparently taking just a little too long to make my strategy choice in the FreeCell game, and it started blinking a hint at me. I almost yelled at the computer to slow down and let me think for myself. And yet this is the kind of outburst that makes others label me "crazy."
I'm not crazy. I'm not stupid, either!
I'm also not old yet, and I'm not irrelevant yet. My recent acquisition of an honest-to-God full-time job with great benefits has proved that beyond a shadow of a doubt to almost everyone, except that little voice in my own brain. Self-doubt has cost me more than one job over the past six years.
There are times, however, when it's all too easy to feel old and irrelevant when you're a sensitive human being who doesn't move at the speed of a computer, or even at the speed of a young person. One of those times, for me, is when someone or some THING is trying to force me to hurry up and do something.
Tomorrow is "Black Friday," which is arguably my least favorite day of the year. It's a day to hurry up and buy everything you can possibly grab, even if it means trampling human beings in the process. I personally remember many a day after Thanksgiving, even back in the 1980's, as a day when I got in my car to try to do some innocent errand only to get stuck in hideous gridlock. So for me, it's a day to stay put and stay calm.
In this short-attention-span time, it's hard to do anything online without something blinking, dancing, flashing, or twitching to take your mind away from what you're trying to do.
I was brought up not to trust anyone or anything screaming "hey, look at me!" (even a large print ad in a yellow book). When I was tempted, the ensuing discussion went something like this:
Me: "But Dad, it's such a good buy!"
Dad: "It sure is. It's goodbye, money!"
The best wisdom I know comes from human beings who, while no longer physically living, will never be irrelevant in my mind.
I'm always telling every younger person I know not to trust technology. Why not, they always ask. Because computer programs are developed by very smart human beings who are trying to make money. Whether they're simply seeking "enough" or trying to be celebrity-level rich is not important. The bottom line is, someone is usually trying to separate you from your money.
I know this about technology because I used to develop mainframe computer programs for my living. In 2008, the large insurance company for which I worked at the time decided that my job could be done better (or at least cheaper) by someone in a developing country overseas. After a brief and expensive attempt to regain career relevance, I gave up and opted out of Information Technology entirely.
Even if our family budget might allow a "Smart Phone," I don't particularly want one.
This is where everyone demands to know why not. Like everything with me, it's not a short or simple story.
I'll cut to the chase and simply say that I'm easily distracted (and often frightened) by anything sudden: noises, flashing lights, vibrations. The day that a device in my car suddenly makes a noise I'm not expecting while I'm white-knuckle driving through North Saint Louis County traffic could be the day my life becomes just one more sad local fatality.
I value my life and I value my intelligence. I love my family, friends, and coworkers.
I prefer to use my own brains whenever possible. I believe over-dependence on devices can make us lazy, complacent, and unwilling (or just unlikely if in a hurry) to think for ourselves. I'm concerned about future generations following blindly to the tune of technology du jour like lemmings to their bankruptcy or even death.
If this sounds like a lecture, so be it. I may not be young, but I'm very relevant.
Have a great Thanksgiving today, and be calm and safe. I care.
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